thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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