sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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