I'd wear matching sweaters with you
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
