i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
