I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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