i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
