That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
