I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
