Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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