I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
