I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
