just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
