Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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