if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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