I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
