I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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