no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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