all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Sex in the backyard? Check.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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