y did u give ur computer a hand job?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
