scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
