Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
