is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
How does one acquire holy water?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
