don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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