Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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