Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
