My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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