you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
