I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
