He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
