is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You need a sexual gate keeper
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
