do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
The power of my boobs compel you
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
