I wanna bring you to show and tell
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You work out of a Hotel?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Randomize
