discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
