is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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