I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
