I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
