I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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