I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
