is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
