you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
