It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
