Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
