I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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