is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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