i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Randomize
