I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
