"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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