You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
