So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
