I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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