I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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