Tell her she can't have a vagina
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
