Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
