the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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