My nipple is on Facebook.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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